Primary Physician Clearance Letter

Today I dropped off my request for a clearance letter at my primary physician's office. And then I went and ate biscuits and gravy.

*Shaking my head.*  All I could think of on my way to drop off the letter was that I probably won't have biscuits and gravy again once I have my surgery. And I HATE that I cared about that. I hate that I felt the need to go get biscuits and gravy and that as I ate them, I probably could have had more. I hate that I feel as though I'm always hungry. I hate that food controls so much of my day. I hate that when I eat with other people, I eat so much more than everyone before I feel full or satisfied.

    I HATE the way food controls my life and that it is destroying my health.

Anyway, tomorrow I get fitted for an at-home sleep study. The results are read by a neurologist and will satisfy the pre-operative requirements set by my doctor. I know for a fact that I snore because I've been waking myself up at night, but this will decide whether or not I have apnea (probably.)
If I do, they will want me fitted for a C-PAP so that I can have it in post-op recovery. I'm not thrilled about having to wear one, but hopefully as I lose weight, I won't need it anymore.

On a side note, very dear friends of ours evacuated their homes in Charleston this last week and stayed with us for four days, waiting out the storm. While they were here, they threw a little impromptu 39th birthday party for me.
And took pictures.

And then a few days later we went and visited another of our friends in Knoxville and met their new baby.

It was a wonderful week with our friends, but all I could see were these pictures where I couldn't recognize myself. What have I become? While they were here, we went to the Zoo and my shoe came untied. I squatted to tie my shoe and almost couldn't do it because my boobs and belly wouldn't let me reach my foot. It was humiliating because I knew how I appeared to others as I struggled to tie my shoe. 

I'm so ready for things to change...and yet, I still went out for biscuits and gravy today. *sigh*

Friday I get my psych eval...

Meet the Doc

Today I met Dr. Boyce and I was blown away by his gentle, compassionate manner. He was incredibly kind and understanding and I felt like he really heard me. He listened to my concerns and agreed that the Sleeve procedure would be a good fit for me. It seems that since I will be a self pay patient that I won't have to wait the 6 months that is normal for most insurances. On one hand, this is incredibly exciting for me. On the other...AAAAAAHHHH!!!

I only need to tie up a few loose ends before I can schedule my surgery, and from what I understand, I could have surgery as quickly as a month after I'm scheduled. At the end of my appointment, I scheduled my psych eval for the end of next week. After that, I only need a letter from my primary care physician approving me for surgery and a sleep study. When my primary referred me for a sleep study, the sleep center couldn't even get me in for a referral until DECEMBER! Luckily, my step-father, who is a physician, uses an at-home sleep study company that I can do as early as this coming Tuesday. Dr. Boyce approved this plan (he said he does the at-home sleep studies for his patients too.)
Sooo, it is possible I will be ready to schedule my surgery in a little over a week.

Required Weight Loss Seminar

Tonight I attended the required weight loss seminar. The room was packed out and I arrived late because for some reason, I thought it started at 6 instead of 5:30. Luckily, I arrived in time to hear about the different kinds of procedures and the pros and cons related to each procedure. I'd pretty much decided on the Gastric Sleeve before attending the seminar. The information I received only reinforced that the sleeve is the best option for me.
I learned that all the procedures are now performed laparoscopically which drastically reduces the surgical risk and that the New Life Center's complication rates are incredibly low. I've always been terrified of the prospect of gastric bypass because there are SO many stories of friends of friends who've died from post-operative complications. In fact, my best friend's father in law died from complications from gastric bypass. I have small sons, ages 9, 6, and 3 years old. I didn't/don't want to do anything that would cause them to lose their mother.
The seminar went a long way in reassuring me of my safety. The doctors really know their stuff and their numbers speak for themselves. In the end, I'm glad I went to the seminar.

Required Support Group Attendance

Tonight I attended a bariatric surgery support group per the requirement for surgery approval. The one particular support group that is closest to me only happens once a month and for some reason I feel an incredible urgency to get all of the requirements out of the way. If I missed this meeting, there wouldn't be another until November. November is such a crazy month, I worried that something would come up that would prevent me from attending and slow down this process even more.

The support group was a very open and encouraging group of people. I wish the moderator had directed the conversation more, but still, a lot of information that I wouldn't have considered asking about was discussed. It was incredibly encouraging to see the amount of weight everyone had lost, because (If I'm honest) my biggest fear is that this surgery won't work for me.

I was probably the newest person to the group and to the process, though for half of the group, it was their first time coming. Almost everyone there already had a surgery date and I know for a fact that I was the only one who'd yet to meet the doctor. This made me a little more hesitant to share or ask questions because I felt like maybe I shouldn't be there so early in the process.

Anyway, I finished this requirement and I look forward to going back again post-operative to share my experiences.